Living in Autismland

The term “autismland” is used by some in the autism community because that’s where I remember hearing it. I have also heard the term “living on autism island.” You get the drift. It’s like living in another world, one that most typical people do not understand. It’s okay if you don’t understand. We are not meant to understand every disability that exists in the world.

 I am a part of many on-line autism communities and I also know many people who have children and teens on the autism spectrum. Some of my closest confidants come from this community. 

 Lately, I have been reading so many different stories from the on-line community. I have to say that 99% of them are negative experiences that these parents have had to go through. I think that with the start of school, there are more challenges for these families and our school system (not just in Canada) is not equipped to handle these challenges. 

 As you may be able to imagine, some of these stories are heartbreaking…….parents have to pick kids up every day because of something that happened….negative notes are being sent home to parents describing how bad their child was during the day…..parents having to deal with their child on the spectrum being aggressive toward their other children…..talk about what meds they can put their child on…….the list goes on and on and on. Every day parents are looking for advice, help and guidance on what to do. Why is it like this?

 My heart breaks every day when I read these stories because some of them I have personally experienced. I’m not here to analyze our broken school system or the lack of support for people with disabilities to be able to be given the same opportunity to learn in a way that makes sense for them. I just want to bring awareness to the matter.

 Our family experienced lots of devastation and things that if you don’t live in autismland you could never possibly comprehend. Even now that our children are older, we are still navigating a different world from everyone else. The course of a day can change very quickly and we just have to move along with it. 

 Most people don’t know what to do to help and I get it. But there are things that we can all do to make small happy moments happen during a day. Perhaps it’s a smile you give someone who is sitting across from you at an appointment. Maybe it’s a quick text or email telling someone you are praying for them and their family today. It could be dropping off that much needed coffee to a parent that makes their day just a little brighter. Or dropping off a special treat for that child to enjoy, or perhaps picking up some groceries for them. The list goes on and on.

 If you don’t know what to do, just ask. 

God created us all unique and special. The way we are is exactly the way that God wants us to be. God also created us to help our neighbour and to help people in need. 

Galatians 6:2 says,

“Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.”

What an amazing verse for all of us to remember! We have so many opportunities every day to honour God. Let us always remember that.

Shelly Wedge
Exceptional Family Ministries Coordinator
Amberlea Church

Summer Is Ending

As I sit here and write this title, I feel very sad. To be honest, I hate when summer ends, I wish it could go on forever. It is my favourite season and the only time all year I really feel connected to nature and I do not have to worry about the daily household schedule and being on time for this and that.

 This summer has provided some much needed distraction and rest for my son and I. We have been up at our cottage enjoying time away from the city and just embracing the outdoors. We always have plans to do certain activities in the summer and sometimes we do them all and sometimes we do not. This summer is no different. I used to get anxious if all that was planned did not happen, but I am not that way anymore. I am just happy to do nothing.

 My son is my absolute favorite person to hang out with. We can lay on the dock, listen to music, go swimming, boating and lots of other things and there is just pure happiness. I know everyone does not see in him what I do, and that is perfectly okay. Sometimes when others think of autism, they always talk about the struggles and the hardships (which are very real). But I also enjoy the carefree times when life in general just does not put so much pressure on people with autism to mold or fit or even perform for that matter. It is nice to have no expectations sometimes.

 As we look forward to returning home and getting ready for the fall activities and school, I am extremely grateful to have had time this summer with my son. My daughter and my husband are just as important but I do not get to spend as much time with them, unfortunately. Our cottage is such a special place and I hate to leave it, but I know that God wants us to have rest and restoration, which is why he created the earth in 6 days and rested on the 7th day.

 Being in nature for all of us is important but especially for those on the spectrum as they have a special connection with nature, if that makes sense. If you know, you know.

 In Hebrews 4:10 it states, 

“for anyone who enters God’s rest also rests from their works, 
just as God did from his.”

 As we move into Fall and all the new things that our children will experience, let us look to God for strength and peace to be able to handle all that will transpire. 

May God bless each and every one of your families and always remember that God is in control of everything. He sees everything, He knows our children and He will protect and guide us all. We just need to ask Him. 

I look forward to seeing everyone very soon! God bless!

Shelly Wedge
Exceptional Family Ministries Coordinator
Amberlea Church

“The more things change, the more they stay the same.”

 Have you ever heard this expression before? This expression can mean different things to different people. 

 I think of this expression sometimes in terms of my children. Raising children on the autism spectrum, things are constantly changing - sometimes multiple times in a day or even an hour!

 People with autism like ”the sameness of things”. They like routine and structure. They like knowing what is happening next so that they can mentally plan for it. Lots of people with autism function really well with a visual schedule of what they are doing, especially at school. Unfortunately, the world does not work this way. Our world is very fast-paced and busy. We go from one place to the next or one thing to the next without blinking an eye. Sometimes, I feel like I’m on autopilot.

 Children with autism grow into teenagers and teenagers into young adults. They learn strategies of how to live and cope in our busy world, but they also need to have things that they are totally in control of. For example, there may be 10 different things that happened today that could be different than yesterday, but when your child comes home to the “sameness” and the control that they have over this environment, it brings them comfort and reduces anxiety.

 Things have changed in our household because our children have grown and changed over time. Although they do have constants in their life such as family, home, cottage and even simple things like bedtimes and eating times.

 Both of our children have grown and learned so many things over the years. But they love their constants like being at home. They feel safe and secure and know they can be themselves and not judged by the world.

 If we have God in our lives, we always have a constant. God is a constant source of comfort, compassion, kindness and love. We can always count on Him - always. No matter what changes, He remains the same - for everyone. That’s the great thing. He created you and loves you just as you are as we are all made in God’s image.

 In 2 Corinthians 1:3 it says,  

“Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ,
the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort,
who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God”.

 If you are a special needs parent or just someone struggling with other issues, remember you are important to God and He will always be there for you. That’s a promise! God will always be the same.

 Shelly Wedge
Exceptional Family Ministries Coordinator
Amberlea Church